Love You Always
by CowboysRednecksandParamedics
Summary: Johnny Gage's life is turned upside down by a tiny 'firehouse rescue'. He opens his heart to the tiny infant, but will also open up the door to tremendous troubles and wonderful times. But the arrival of the baby brings back a flood of memories and scars that Johnny has long since tried to forget. Please comment what you thought below! Thanks! :)
1. Little One

"Peace and quiet!" Captain Hank Stanley threw his long arms out to the sides when he entered the kitchen from the side door, still dressed in jeans and a grey and white striped shirt.

Marco and Mike both looked up at their captain, already in their uniforms and sipping steaming coffee from the well-used coffee mugs.

"What do you mean, Cap?" Marco asked as Mike returned to reading the front page of his newspaper.

"Chet and Johnny aren't here yet, and C Shift isn't back from that apartment complex fire they had this morning. Thank goodness for a quiet station, even if it is only for a few minutes."

Roy DeSoto walked in from the apparatus bay. "Mornin'." He said glumly.

"Aw, Roy." Cap's eyebrows pulled down low over his brown eyes. "Why the long face, pal?"

"Chris was up all night with an upset stomach." Roy's voice was monotone as he poured himself some joe and turned around to lean on the stove. "It was a long night."

"Hey, don't share whatever he's got with us, okay?" Marco twisted around in the chair to look at Roy as Johnny and Chet's bickering voices shattered the pleasant silence like a baseball crashes through a window.

Cap moaned, and his chin dropped to his chest. "Arguing already."

"Hm." Roy swirled the coffee around in his cup. "I wonder what it's about this time." But they didn't have time to find out because the growling of the station's truck and squad drowned out the squabbling in the background as the two pieces of machinery backed into the apparatus bay.

One by one, tired and sooty firefighters trickled into the kitchen seeking a caffeine boost to help their tired bodies function for a few more minutes until quitting time.

The four A shift men greeted the exhausted C shifters as they drank coffee and then moved on to the locker room for showers and to climb wearily out of their dirty uniforms.

Once Johnny and Chet came out of the locker room, both wearing scowls and shooting dirty looks at one another, Cap did roll call before releasing the men to go about their business. No sooner than the line had disintegrated that the tones went off again.

"Station 10, Station 51, Squad 14; multiple vehicle accident with injuries. Maple, cross-street Vine. Maple, cross-street Vine. Time-out, 9:43."

Cap ran to the microphone. "Station 51, KMG 365." He scribbled the correct address down on a scrap of paper and handed it off to Roy, who had the squad already started. Roy promptly gave the paper to Johnny without even looking at it. Instead, he pressed the accelerator and pulled out onto the street as Mike started the engine's motor to follow.

 _EMERGENCY!_

Johnny climbed wearily out of the squad once his partner had backed it into the apparatus bay, slamming the door viciously before crossing his arms above his head and leaning them against the polished silver railing that ran along the top of the squad's compartments.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Junior." Roy made the extra effort to walk the other way around the front of the vehicle to try to comfort his younger partner. "You did everything you knew to do, and Rampart did the same. Don't let it get to you."

"Don't let it get to me? Roy," Johnny turned his head to face his partner. "I watched a child die today! I saw his parents being loaded into the ambulance, unconscious, while their only son died in my arms."

"I know, Johnny. I was there too."

"Then why doesn't it bother you?" Johnny snapped.  
Roy tilted his head to the side. "It does bother me, Junior. But I know it's part of the job; people live, people die."

"I know, man." Johnny's voice was quieter, more sad now. "But when it's the kids…"

Roy didn't really know what to say, he rarely did when they witnessed a young life snuffed out in the blink of an eye. He placed a reassuring hand on Johnny's shoulder and rubbed it a little bit. "Want any coffee?"

Johnny whispered, "Sure." and turned to follow Roy into the kitchen.

Cap, Marco, and Mike had already washed up and settled down in the kitchen, returning to whatever they had been doing before roll call. Roy walked to the stovetop, grabbed the half-full coffee pot and poured Johnny a cup before pouring himself one. Then both stood there sipping the warm liquid staring into space.

Chet, seemingly as bright and cheery as ever, came into the room, wiping his damp hands on his dark blue uniform pants. "Gage, there's something on your bed." Chet's cheeky grin contrasted sharply with the dark looks of gloom on the rest of the firemen's faces.

"Kelly," Johnny's voice sounded annoyed, warning Chet that he was most definitely not in the mood for any foul jokes that would later be blamed on "the Phantom".

"No, really!" Chet's smile either disappeared or became camouflaged in the hairiness of the mustache adorning Chet's upper lip. "A shoebox or something."

"What's in it?"

"I dunno."

"You mean you didn't look?"

"It's on your bed, not mine."

"Hmm." Johnny set down his coffee cup and stalked out of the kitchen, picking up a single file line of interested followers.

The entourage crossed the apparatus bay, and went through the swinging door into the bunk room. Johnny stopped directly inside the door, causing Chet to run into him.

Sure enough, on the end of Johnny's bed was a unmarked white shoebox.

"Maybe one of the guys from C shift left it." Johnny wondered aloud and then progressed carefully and slowly in case something nasty were to come flying out of the box in his direction.

When nothing emerged, Johnny sat down on the edge of his bed as Marco, Mike and Chet crowded around. Johnny pulled the box closer to him and carefully lifted off the lid.

He felt his heart skip a beat and his stomach drop. It was a baby.

"No way," Chet leaned down closer to see.

Johnny couldn't find any words to say as he stared down at the tiny infant. It was definitely premature, perhaps even so much as a three weeks to a month, and no older than three hours. Wrapped in a dirty old sheet with only its head protruding, the tiny eyelids were closed tight against the light. The chubby cherub cheeks and cupid's bow lips puckered for a moment before relaxing again.

"Chet, go get Roy and tell Cap to call it in. Oh," He called as Chet ran for the door, "Tell Roy to bring the OB kit."

Not bothering with gloves, Johnny slowly and carefully slid his hands under the baby's body, supporting the head and neck with his one hand. Cradling the newborn in his arms, he unwrapped the dirty sheet from the baby and let the sides flop over his arms. The baby girl didn't so much as stir when the November air hit skin.

"Is she even alive?" Marco knelt down to see better. "It looks like she's not breathing right."

Johnny carefully laid the sleeping baby on the bed and placed his fingers on her stomach. Sure enough, the infant seemed to be having trouble breathing.

Johnny pinched the baby's thigh in an attempt to make it cry, but no sound came forth from the newborn. Alarm bells were sent off through his mind when he spotted a bright red mark on the inside of the baby girl's thigh; a needle mark.

"Mike, I need the biophone."

The quiet engineer bolted from the room as Roy and Chet entered, Roy carrying the big OB kit.

"Roy, I think she's been drugged." Johnny called as he examined the mark more closely.

Marco and Chet skittered out of the way as Roy flung the OB kit onto the ground, creating a clatter.

As they both examined the baby, Mike reentered with the biophone. Johnny took it, opened the lid, set up the antennae, and turned it on.

"Rampart, this is Squad 51."

There was a brief moment of silence before Doctor Mike Morton's voice came on the air.

"This is Rampart. Go ahead, 51."

"Uh Rampart, we have a baby here, newborn, approximately one to three hours old, female. Seems to be suffering from difficulty breathing,"

Roy interjected, "Slow heartbeat. Pulse is 80, BP is…" He trailed off as he finished taking the blood pressure. "BP is 60/45 and respirations are 20."

Johnny relayed the vitals. Then he said, "Rampart, we have found a needlemark on the baby's thigh."

"Uh, okay, 51. Exactly how old is the infant?"

"Rampart, we don't know."

"Well then, ask the mother what that needlemark is from."

Johnny stalled. He glanced at the baby and then at Roy, who was rewrapping the newborn in a clean, sterilized blanket. "Rampart, the infant's mother is not available."

Now there was a moment of silence from the other end. Johnny imagined Morton throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. "Where is the mother, 51?" He snapped.

"Rampart, the baby was abandoned here at the station." Johnny said.

Another moment of silence before a different voice took over, this time Kel Brackett's. "Do you have an ambulance at your location, 51?"

"Negative, Rampart."

"Well get her in here, stat."

"10-4, Rampart. On our way." Johnny closed up the biophone and handed it back to Mike while Chet took the OB kit and ran it back to the squad.

"How fast can we get there, Roy?" Johnny reached his hands out for the baby, and Roy gently settled her in his arms.

"Faster than we normally can." He peeled off the gloves and dropped them on Gage's bed. "Let's go, Junior." Roy grabbed the empty shoebox and it's lid after stuffing the dirty sheet inside and beelined it for the squad.

Johnny walked fast, and when he arrived at the squad, it was already running and the lights flashing. Chet opened the door and closed it again after Johnny had climbed inside.

 _EMERGENCY!_

Roy kept glancing over at his partner as he sped through the streets as fast as he darned. Johnny's face was concentrated fully on his tiny charge that slept in his arms.

 _Oh boy._ Roy thought to himself. _He's getting attached already._

A few minutes later, as they were nearing the hospital Johnny said, "Roy, look! There's a note!" He stuck his hand into the box and emerged with a piece of crumpled paper. He held it up and read it aloud.

"To whomever this may concern, please take good care of this baby. I hope that since you are a fireman, you are an honorable man. Please don't try and find me; I'll be dead in a few hours. The baby's father is also dead, so don't bother. Please don't place her in foster care, because I grew up there and it was a horrible experience. Thank you very much, the baby's mother."

Johnny's face grew stoic and he dropped the note back into the box as he stared down at the angel-like face slumbering peacefully within the folds of the snowy blanket that seemed to dwarf her.

 _How could anyone abandon such a vulnerable person?_ Johnny began to grow angry the more he thought about the deed. _What kind of-_

"Maybe she had a good reason, Johnny." Roy's calm voice interrupted Johnny's beginning internal rage.

"Huh?"

"I can read you like a book, man." Roy laughed a little. "Maybe the baby's mother had a good reason for leaving it at the station."

"Roy, name one good reason to drug your baby up! I hardly doubt she had a reason for that!"

Roy just shrugged. Johnny had him on that one. The two sat in stony silence as the squad rushed onward, sirens blaring, towards Rampart General Hospital.

Roy was thinking about his own kids, Chris and Jenny, and his wonderful wife Joanne. They had welcomed two children into their home, and he couldn't imagine not wanting your own child.

Johnny was scrutinizing the infant carefully, all the time feeling a paternal urge to protect the helpless babe whose very parents had left her alone at the mercy of some unknown fireman. In the back of his mind, he wondered if the hospital or the state would let him keep the child. Oh well, they'd find out soon enough.

Roy slowed as he entered the hospital emergency entrance driveway, and when they pulled up in front of the electronic doors, the tiny baby let out a contented sigh.

 _You know you're safe now, don't you, little one?_ Johnny smiled.


	2. Ellie

"Squad 51 just pulled up, Kel." Nurse Dixie McCall stuck her head into Treatment Room 3, in which Doctor Kelly Brackett was treating a boy who had broken two fingers when he had tried to ramp his bike. "I put them in 2."

Brackett nodded at Dixie, and finished attaching a splint to the twelve year old's black and blue fingers. "You'll be alright, young man. But stay away from those ramps!" Kel smiled and quickly handed everything that needed to be put away to the nurse standing attentively beside him. Then he left quickly and darted across the hall to Treatment Room 2.

Inside, the two paramedics stood beside the silver and glass medical cabinet, hands in their pockets watching closely as Dixie and Morton hovered over the tiny infant. A policeman was also there, examining a pale shoebox and a note that had been hastily discarded to the side.

"When exactly did you find her?" Morton was asking the bewildered paramedics.

"Uh, about…"Johnny remembered, his eyes rolling upwards towards the ceiling. "Well, we got back from the run at eleven, and it was a few minutes after that. But we had been a few minutes after we returned. But we were gone for a while, Doc. No telling how long she was there."

"Where's the needle mark?" Brackett nosed his way through the gaggle of nurses skittering about and to the side of the examination table.

Roy pointed in the baby's general direction, but didn't move. "On the inside of the left thigh."

"Sharon, get a blood sample and get it to the lab, stat."

The pretty auburn haired nurse nodded. "Yes, Doctor. Right away."

Soon machines were humming, instruments clinked, and Brackett's voice presided over the situation. Soon an EKG was beeping quietly in the background, monitoring the baby's heartbeat. Oxygen was also in use, although the regular mask would have covered up nearly the baby's whole face, so a tube was being used.

Through all this, the tiny infant lay still, not making one sound. Brackett began to worry that they were going to be too late.

"C'mon, little girl. Don't die on me!" He whispered. Then his eye caught the two paramedics standing in the corner. Both looked anxious and worried, so he caught the policeman's attention and signalled with a jerk of his head for the officer to remove any extra people from the room.

The officer soon had whisked the two men away out into the hall as he questioned them about the abandonment.

Then all they could do was sit back and wait for the lab results.

"What do you think, Dix'?" Bracket stood at the foot of the table, arms crossed stubbornly over his chest as he surveyed the tiny child swaddled in a blanket of tubes and wires.

Dixie moved to his side. "I think it's awful, Kel."

Brackett detected a note of anger in his head nurse's voice, and prepared himself for the oncoming rant. He was used to such things, but somehow this one was going to be different.

"I'm at least thankful that she left her baby at a decent place." Dixie surprised Kel this time. She moved to the side of the bed and stroked the baby's soft crown of sparse, silky hair.

"The odds are against her, Dix. Don't get too attached. She's at least a month premature, didn't have adequate medical observation since she was early, and she's been drugged, which most likely means that the mother used drugs during the pregnancy."

"Kel," Dixie's voice was soft, and he would tell that she wasn't listening to him. "Isn't she beautiful?"

Brackett chuckled.

 _EMERGENCY!_

Johnny paced in the hallway while Roy chatted with the policeman after they had filled out the proper report. His attention wasn't caught by any pretty new nurses that passed by, or any dire emergency rescues that came rushing in. Instead, every thought was focused on the orphan just past the door under the small black sign that had a '2' on it.

" _What if she dies?"_ Two internal voices struggled in his mind. _"No, she'll be fine."_ _"But she's weak."_ _"No, she'll make it, she's got to make it!" "Why? She's alone in the world. Nobody cares about her; nobody cares what happens." "That's not true! Brackett and Dix and Morton and Early and Roy and the guys at the station care, and..._ I _care."_ The realization of it shocked him. He stopped pacing and leaned against the fire extinguisher. _I care._ Johnny felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Roy standing beside him as the policeman walked away.

"Want any coffee, Junior?"

He shook his head and returned to staring at the floor.

"Alright." Roy squeezed Johnny's shoulder comfortingly as he walked towards the base station and the coffee pot. As Roy disappeared around the corner, Nurse Sharon Walters came walking quickly down the hallway with a manila folder clasped tightly in her hands.

"Hey!" Johnny darted from his place and caught her by the arm. "How are the results?"

Sharon recoiled slightly at the unexpected interaction, but once she saw that it was Johnny, she pulled her arm away and shook her head at him scoldingly.

"You know that I don't look at them." She said before entering Treatment Room 2.

Johnny just stood forlornly in the hallway looking like a lost lamb. Roy saw his partner's plight, so he motioned Johnny over.

"It'll be alright."

Johnny nodded as he poured a cup of coffee that he had no desire to drink. He just swirled it around and stared at the little whirlpool he had created.

Both men jumped when the HT beeped. "Squad 51, what is your status?"

Roy slowly picked up the black box from the counter and glanced at Johnny as he moved it towards his mouth.

Johnny's eyes widened. "No!" He mouthed.

Roy smiled and held in the button. "LA, Squad 51 available."

"Arg!" The dark haired paramedic groaned.

The HT buzzed again. "Squad 51, unknown type rescue, 253 Mariposa Street. 253 Mariposa Street."

"10-4 LA. Squad 51 responding." Roy began walking briskly towards the exit, Johnny following on his heels. As Johnny was passing Treatment Room 2, Dixie and Brackett both emerged.

Slamming on the brakes and throwing it in reverse, Johnny backpedaled a few steps. "How is she, Doc?" He asked anxiously.

"She has a half gram of phenobarbital in her system. We almost lost her for a while there - she stopped breathing for a few minutes and…"

"Johnny!" Roy hollered for his partner. "We hafta go!"

Johnny ran a few steps but then suddenly remembered a question and started to go back but then common sense won and he dashed after Roy. He would ride in with the patient if need be and check up on the baby.

 _EMERGENCY!_

Nearly three hours later, an exhausted and hungry Johnny Gage jumped wearily from the back of an ambulance holding an IV bag above a victim's head. His face was smudged with dirt, and the grime smeared down the sides of his face where the sweat ran.

The middle aged man lay moaning on the stretcher, throwing his head side to side. Injured when the brick wall he had recently constructed had collapsed, Squad 51 and Engine 14 had spent two and a half hours trying to locate and dig him out of the rubble. Johnny strongly suspected internal injuries along with a few bad head wounds and a broken femur. A history of heart troubles didn't make the situation any better.

After seeing that the man was being taken care of by busy nurses and doctors, Johnny went to clean himself up before heading back to the nursing base station where he found Dixie filling out reports.

"Hi, Dix." He leaned eagerly on the side of the counter.

"Hi, Johnny." Dixie played coy, pretending she didn't know the source of his nervousness.

"How's the baby?"

"What baby?"

"Dixie!"

Dixie McCall laughed. "Oh, Johnny! I'm just teasing. She's fine. I'll have to go check on her in a few minutes. Would you like to come along?"

"If I could, please."

 _EMERGENCY!_

A few minutes later, Roy still hadn't arrived with the squad yet, and Johnny was following Dixie down the hallway after going up a floor in the elevator. He bounced on his toes happily and sped up a few steps to catch up with the speedwalking nurse.

Dixie stopped in front of a wide window behind which in clear plexiglass boxes, lay newborn babies. "Do you see her?"

"Uh," Johnny clasped his hands behind his back and leaned towards the glass. "Right there." He pointed to a baby in the corner with a pink sheet of paper tucked inside the holder on the box's front.

"Very good." Dixie smiled. "C'mon," She shoved open a door leading into a room beside the nursery with her hip.

Johnny eagerly followed. In the room, was a few comfortable chairs with a end table and lamp. Paintings of happy families with happy children adorned the walls, and a small toy box with child's toys sat silently in the corner.

"Wait here." Dixie pointed at one of the chairs. "Kel or Morton will be here in a few minutes." She knocked on the door that Johnny guessed opened to the nursery. A scrub nurse opened and beckoned Dixie in.

Then Johnny was alone. He glanced down at himself, and finding his uniform dirty, put on his jacket that he had been carrying along and zipped it up. He heard Dixie and the scrub nurse's soft voices from the other side of the door, and heard hurried footsteps approaching in the corridor. The doorknob turned and it opened a few inches so he could hear Kel Brackett talking sternly to some orderly for some infraction before the orderly scurried off to correct any wrong and Brackett stepped inside.

He looked slightly surprised to see Johnny sitting there. A gruff, "What are you doing here?" Was all the greeting Johnny received. Dixie must have heard of Kel's arrival because she poked her head out the nursery door and shot Brackett a withering glare. "We'll be ready in a minute, Kel."

"Good." Brackett leaned his back against the door and crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, Johnny. Attached to the firehouse rescue already?"

Johnny inwardly cringed at the way Brackett said 'firehouse rescue'. But he nodded.

"As I was telling you before you went on that run, - oh," He stopped himself. "That mason that you brought in didn't make it." He was quiet for a few moments. "I almost had him back."

Johnny looked at the floor as he clasped his hands between his knees. "I knew he was gonna be a hard one, Doc."

"Anyway, as I was saying, little 'Jane Doe' had a half gram of phenobarbital in her system. She stopped breathing on us for about ten minutes and I thought we lost her, but all of a sudden she started up again. I don't have a real way of explaining it."

"A miracle." Johnny said quietly.

"Yes," Brackett seemed a little preoccupied. "We finally got her off oxygen and we think she'll be alright."

"Doesn't she have a name yet?" Johnny asked.

"No, and she needs one."

Johnny's eyes lit up. "Could I name her?"

"Well-" Brackett began, already saying 'no' in his head.

"Of course!" Dixie's voice interrupted as she opened the door, pushing the rolling crib with the baby resting in it. "It's time for her bottle; Johnny, would you like to do the honors?"

"Sure." Johnny tried hard not to sound so enthusiastic, but Dixie caught on anyway.

Dixie picked up the tiny infant carefully and transferred her to Johnny's arms. The baby's eyes were open now, bright blue and sleepy. Dixie handed Johnny the warm bottle, and stepped back to watch as one of her favorite paramedics fed the baby.

 _EMERGENCY!_

Johnny was totally enraptured as he watched the baby girl's cheeks pucker and expand as she sucked on the warm bottle. _They said I can name you, Little One. And once you get big and strong enough, you can come home. I have a dog at home, you'll like him. His name's Dodger._

The tiny babe opened her sapphire eyes and blinked sleepily at Johnny, staring directly at him. She waved her tiny arms at him, and he noticed that she had stopped sucking on the bottle so he removed it and set it upright on the end table. The big blue eyes slid shut again, but the arms continued to windmill, so Johnny caught one in his tanned hand. Immediately, the baby latched onto his pointer finger, gripping as tightly as a newborn could.

 _Woah._ Johnny smiled. Then all of a sudden, the had an eureka moment. "Ellie." He said quietly, rolling the name around on his tongue as if trying a new food.

"Pardon?" Brackett stepped forward.

"Ellie." Johnny repeated, and looked up at the inquiring doctor. "That's her name!"

Dixie smiled. "That's a beautiful name, Johnny."

Johnny felt as proud of himself as if he had just conquered the highest mountain. "Dixie, do you think the state will let me adopt her?"

His question hung in the air for a minute. Dixie and Brackett both stared at him incredulously.

For Dixie, she would have never imagined the girl-crazy, free-willed, adventurous paramedic she knew to even consider settling down and raising a family this soon.

 _EMERGENCY!_

Roy opened the door, running it into the back of Brackett and getting an annoyed glare. "Sorry." He mumbled as he stepped inside, holding the HT. "Well, look at that." He smiled.

"Dix," Kel whispered in Dixie's ear. "I need to talk to you."

"Oh, Brackett," Roy tapped Kel on the shoulder. "There's a couple outside that are looking for you. They're outside the door."

Brackett bit his lip as Dixie looked at him expectantly. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." When Dixie turned her head slightly towards him but kept her eyes on the dark haired paramedic and the infant, he knew she was listening. "They might adopt that baby, Dix."


	3. Memories

"No! Please, no!"

Roy Desoto sat straight up when screams of terror rudely awakened him at two o'clock in the morning. A few of the other guys sleepily stuck their heads up over the brick dividers like rodents peeping out of their dens.

"Breathe! C'mon, breathe! Please, please! You can't leave me!" Paramedic Johnny Gage was thrashing violently in his bed.

"Johnny? Johnny!" Roy was scared; he had never seen his good friend act this way before, awake or not. "Johnny, wake up!" He stepped out of bed and tried to hold Johnny down.

"Nooo," Johnny moaned and the thrashing subsided instantly.

"Johnny? Wake up, Junior!" Roy slapped Johnny's tan cheek several times. "Hey, you're alright! Take it easy, man!"

"No!" Johnny yelled again.

Cap sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. "Roy…"

"Sorry, Cap. I don't know what's wrong with him." Roy slapped Johnny cheek once more, more forcefully this time.

The paramedic's eyes flew open and stared at the roof with frightening stillness. His chest heaved like he had just ran a marathon.

Roy took a step back. "Johnny, are you alright?"

The dark haired paramedic sat up, still panting. His dark haired head surveyed the room, meeting all the firemen's eyes. Then he jumped up, slipped on his pants and boots and sprinted out the door into the apparatus bay while he flipped the suspenders over his shoulders, leaving the rest of the guys to stare at each other in bewildered silence.

 _EMERGENCY!_

Johnny felt trapped. He needed to run somewhere, but there was nowhere to go at the station except Chet's camper. He felt the urgent desire to escape from the real world for a while, to venture out into the wilderness in his Land Rover, maybe do a little fishing or hunting, but duty bound him to the world of concrete and hurting people for at least another several hours.

Chet's camper would have to do. As he curled up on the bed in the back of the camper, he thought about the horrendous dream that had plagued him that night.

Johnny began to tremble violently as he tried to contain his emotions, but they wouldn't be constrained for long. Soon hot tears began to slide down his cheeks, and they ashamed him so that he wiped them away furiously.

 _What if you lose her?_ Johnny's inner voice brought up doubts that he thought had no place in his world. _I won't lose her. They can't have her. "But what if you do get her? You have no experience being a father. What if the same thing happens that happened to-" Stop! Don't even think that!_

Then he shut out the voice and resigned himself to the flood of bad memories. " _Why did you choose the name Ellie? It's going to be a constant reminder of-" Stop!_ But he couldn't stop the memories from flooding back like the dam had busted.

 _EMERGENCY!_

It had been four years ago, when Johnny was seventeen and almost out of senior high. He had lived on a ranch on the reservation with his mother's parents at the time; his parents and two younger siblings had been killed in an automobile accident a year before, leaving Johnny and his thirteen year old sister Ellie to keep on the ranch with the help of their Native American mother's parents.

Neither Grandfather nor Grandmother had been home that dreadful morning. Johnny, being the headstrong senior he was, decided to skip school that day and was practicing roping in a large pasture beside the road as Ellie encouraged him from her bus-stop, the end of the driveway.

The big yellow bus had come rumbling down the road, bouncing and bumping along sounding like a bumblebee buzzing about.

Johnny waved to his sister as she climbed on, watching for any pretty girls that might happen to be peering out the window. As the bus started off again, he turned his attention back to practicing. Unbeknownst to both Johnny and the busdriver, a large box-truck was speeding in from the other direction, up a hill that blocked it from view of the bus. The truck crested the hill at a high rate of speed and threw on the brakes. The big tires just slid through the dry dust of the dirt road. The bus tried to swerve, but the driver was to late; the truck was too close and there was a mighty collision as the nose of the truck smashed into the bus, just behind the driver's seat.

Almost in slow motion, the impact of the crash began to tip the bus and if flipped over onto its side as it's engine burst into flames.

Johnny would forever hear the anguished screams of the trapped children inside the vehicle. From his perch atop the horse, he saw their fists pounding on the windows. Glancing back at the ranch house, he hoped that one of the ranch hands had heard the crash and would call for help as Johnny spurred his horse towards the fenceline. As they neared the barbed wire, the horse threw up its head and stopped, sliding to a stop while Johnny expertly vaulted out of the saddle and dove through the fence, landing on his hands and knees in the road.

Johnny vividly remembered him climbing on top of the bus after finding the back door jammed, adrenaline pounding in his temples. He knew he only had a limited amount of time before the fire reached the gas tank of the bus or the truck's fuel. The thought thoroughly terrified him. After stomping through the glass windows with his cowboy boots, and jumping down inside, he helped the older middle school boys boost the girls through the broken windows. Once they had gotten the back end of the vehicle cleared, johnny put his shoulder to the back door and began to push against it from the inside. The rest of the boys joined in and after a few times of 'heave, ho' it gave way, sending everybody braced against it to their knees in the shattered glass.

The elementary school kids and those badly injured were still in the bus, crying and wailing something awful.

 _EMERGENCY!_

"I couldn't find you." Johnny whispered, remembering the desperateness when every face that passed by was not his Ellie's.

 _EMERGENCY!_

The young Johnny had fought his way through the children to the front of the bus where the driver was slumped over the steering wheel, flames licking the cracked windshield inches from her bloodied face. Not knowing if she was dead or not, he hooked his arms under the driver's armpits and attempted to drag her back through. The heat was near unbearable; sweat trickled down his face and stung his eyes, the heat seared his skin with intensity, and his soul cried out whenever he saw a young child lying motionless amongst the shattered glass and dirt.

When he had reached the back door, he found that the boys had all abandoned him, their lungs stinging with smoke and had retreated to where the other victims of the horrific crash had congregated.

Johnny laid the busdriver down before picking her up in his arms and ducking through the door while yelling to the elementary children, "Follow me!" Not knowing how many had followed him, he dashed to the ditch were the kids were sobbing and laid the bus driver down before sprinting back for the bus. He knew with one look at the truck's cab that there was no hope for the driver; the whole cab was mashed and mangled and engulfed in frenzied flames.

Choking on the thick smoke, Johnny had ducked under the door to find a mass of young kids standing at the door, reaching their arms out to him. He grabbed one by one and set them on the ground outside, where they took off towards the others. When all of the healthy ones were out, there were only a few left; the dead and the badly injured.

By this time Johnny's head was spinning with panic. Had Ellie made it out? He hadn't seen her!

Checking each seat carefully, Johnny found only three remaining. He grabbed the one closest to the engine and the fire but knew as soon as he picked her up that she was dead. But he couldn't bring himself to leave her tiny body to the hungry fingers of fire, so he laid her next to the back door before rushing back into the smoke. The next victim he found was lying facedown on the side of the bus, arms outstretched; it was Ellie. Vicious burns covered her arms and lacerations bled with abandon, so Johnny ever so carefully picked his sister up and carried her to the ditch.

 _One more._ Johnny's smoke addled brain thought wildly. But as his shaky legs carried him towards the burning bus, there was a explosion.

The percussion knocked Johnny to the ground. A billowing column of fire shot through the wrecked bus, extinguishing any life yet within if there was any. A blaze of heat seemed to smother the ground as fire sirens wailed in the distance, to late to save any last lives. Johnny lay where he had fallen, exhausted, for several seconds before sitting up to his knees as hot tears welled up and ran down his soot covered face. _One more!_ His very soul anguish as his hands flopped uselessly to his sides. _One more. Ellie. Ellie's alive._ His brain suddenly forgot all other things as the young man scrambled to his wobbly feet and half tripped, half ran back to where his sister lay.

"Ellie," he whispered as he knelt by her side, stroking her singed hair softly. "Ellie, are you alright?"

The girl's glazed eyes stared up at his face unseeingly, blinded by smoke. "Johnny?" She rasped. "I-I can't….breathe!" The alarm in her voice panicked her brother as well. Then she let out the most bone-chilling screams of agony that had ever entered Johnny's young ears, matching those of pain and terror that echoed around the two in a sad, terrible lament of death and suffering.

"John….John…" She panted, unable to see or remove the oppressive weight that sat upon her chest. "It...hurts!"

As the sirens came closer, Johnny watched helplessly as his sister's breaths became more and more labored and raspy until they were barely present at all.

"J-joh...ny." Ellie's sweet face had transformed into one of tranquility. "Do...you...the angels?"

"Nooo," Johnny had moaned in emotional agony, knowing the end was near. "Ellie, no. Stay with me! Don't leave me!"

As the first fire engine rolled to a stop and the firemen jumped off and ran toward the gaggle of injured children, Johnny simply sat beside his sister's body staring. He barely felt when a comforting hand pulled him away and turned him over to his grieved grandparents who drove down the driveway and hauled him, weeping, into the house.

 _EMERGENCY!_

"They buried you beside Mom and Dad and Chad and Jessie. Under the big willows down by the creek on the ranch." Johnny whispered again as the memories dissipated like chaff tossed into the wind. He turned his tear-streaked face towards the ceiling of the old camper. "Thank you, Ellie. Without you, I never would have left the res, or become a firefighter. Without you I never would have found little Ellie. I know some people will think I'm crazy and try to stop me. But…" Johnny paused to think about his reasons for wanting to adopt or foster the tiny girl. "But we're both hurting. I've got old wounds that never have really been healed, and she's got fresh ones. We're gonna muddle through it together."


	4. Coming Home

Johnny stayed holed up in the locker room until B shift came on. When he was officially off duty, he jetted for his Land Rover and sped off towards home but while sitting at a red light, he felt a nudge to turn right. So he flicked on his turning signal and when the light turned green rounded the corner and down a rarely explored street. He just drove and drove, turning whenever he felt the need until he found himself in the country at a T with a dirt road. He cranked the steering wheel and made the sharp turn, liking the sound of his tires growling against the dry dirt. He rolled along the dirt road for a hour or so, the radio cranked up and the windows down as though the wind could somehow blow away his worries and troubles. The melodic notes to Merle Haggard's "It's Not Love" temporarily brainwashed all the day's events from the paramedic's mind, leaving him belting out the tune along with the ex-convict on the radio.

Johnny had to push on the accelerator a bit to make it up a steep hill, but when he crested it, emotional pain hit him in the chest like a brick thrown from close by.

Before him spread out his parent's ranch, still thriving and busy. What on earth had lead him here? The last place he wanted to be during this tumultuous time was his childhood home.

He slowly stepped out of the Land Rover and tucked in his shirt. _Mama always scolded me for lettin' it out._ He smiled at the fond memory of the daily reprimand before he left for school. The cattle guard, he knew, was at the foot of the hill, about 300 feet down the road.

All of a sudden he found himself desiring to be back there, waking up at dawn each morning to the smell of Grandmother's flapjacks frying on the stove. Warm apple pie on cold autumn and winter days, fresh squeezed lemonade during the summer, kissing Mama on the cheek before he went out to dances at the school or church building. Throwing ball with Chad in the front yard until dusk and then catching lightening bugs with Jessie and Ellie before going inside and playing guitar with Grandfather blowing on the harmonica and Dad on the fiddle while Mama whipped up a batch of chocolate chip cookies, the kids sitting on the braided rug in front of the fireplace with big ol' smiles on their faces. Competing for cheap belt buckles at reservation rodeos and strolling around looking at all the fine horses, pickup trucks and pretty girls at the yearly fair.

In the grip of nostalgia, Johnny climbed quickly back into the Land Rover and let it roll down the hill towards the cattle guard. He put on the brakes just before the tires could touch the pipes. Here he was, at the threshold of his inheritance. He knew that once Grandfather and Grandmother passed on that it would become his, but did he really want it? He had considered this issue once before and the thought of selling it off chunk by chunk crossed his mind but the sentimental side of him allied with his stubborn streak and convinced him that that wouldn't be such a good idea.

Besides, there was no way he was going to sell of the land that his great-grandfather had poured blood, sweat, and tears into. Including himself, there was four generations worth of toil had gone into building that ranch from the ground up. Four generations worth of relatives were buried in the family cemetery by the creek, most near and dear to his heart where his parents and siblings.

 _No way you can sell this place._ Johnny's inner voice told him, and he knew that it was right. His foot fell slowly on the accelerator, and the sound of the tires humming across the pipes brought back even more happy memories.

 _EMERGENCY!_

Roy pulled the key out of the ignition and sat staring at the garage door for a minute. He knew that Joanne's car and the kids' bikes and the grill were all stowed away in there. It was about time for barbecue season, and his back ached at the thought of digging out the barbecue and grill. Climbing out of the car, he heard children's' delighted screams as they played tag in the park down the road. No doubt Jenny was down there, and Chris was at baseball practice…..

 _Ahhh, a quiet house!_ Roy smiled as he shut the car door and skipped down the sidewalk.

Joanne was in the kitchen when he came in. He heard her "Welcome home, honey. I'd give you a kiss but I'm a little busy right now."

Roy fought the temptation to throw his jacket on the couch and instead hung it up in the closet like responsible adult before he ventured into the steamy kitchen to find his wife amidst pots and pans scattered everywhere. "Hi, honey." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek before stepping out of the way as she swung around with a hot pot full of boiling water and cooked noodles. "Spaghetti tonight?"

"Mm-hm."

"I'm sure it will be great, as always."

Joanne gave him a sweet smile but seemed to catch onto the troubled undertone in his voice. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" She expertly held the lid over the pot while she drained the water into the sink, leaving just the noodles.

Roy shrugged and went around the end of the counter and sat down at the table to look at the newspaper and the stack of mail. "We found an abandoned baby at the station last morning after C shift left. Preemie."

Joanne's face screwed up. "That's terrible, Roy!"

"I know. The mother drugged her up with barbiturates too. Most likely to keep her quiet." Out of the corner of his eye he saw Joanne shaking her head as she transferred the noodles from the pot into a serving dish. "But the real problem is Johnny."

"Oh dear." Was all that came from Joanne. "Why?"

"He's got it in his head that he's gonna take that baby home and raise it. They've got a family who might potentially take her in, but he's stubborn enough to try something and I'm worried."

"Don't all firefighters and cops and CHPs have to be certified foster parents?"

Roy nodded and flipped open the first page of the newspaper. "Yeah, we are, and he is. But still…"

Joanne came around the counter and stood behind Roy, rubbing his tense shoulders. "Aw, don't worry so much about him, honey. He's a responsible adult...most of the time. He'll figure things out."

"That's what worries me - the way he'll figure it out."

 _EMERGENCY!_

Johnny stood on the steps of the ranch house, soaking it all in once again. Contrary to what he had first believed, returning to his childhood home did not bring back a cascading flood of bad memories, but instead it procured sweet, happy ones of fun times shared with friends and family in this house and on the land.

Through the screen he heard the noises from the kitchen and the radio playing; somebody was baking. Saturdays had always been Grandmother's baking days. The mere thought made his mouth water. Pulling off his sunglasses and sticking them in his pocket, he checked to make sure his shirttails were tucked in and then knocked on the door.

"Whoever's there, c'mon in! Door's open."

Johnny didn't recognize that voice, a younger man's voice, not his Grandfather and definitely not Grandmother, but he pulled open the screen and stepped inside the darkened room. The screen door panged shut behind him, the sound of desperate dashes outside to evade a stern punishment from Dad's belt for some transgression.

His eyes weren't adjusted to the shadowy interior but from what he could make out, the inside hadn't changed a single bit. A TV sat in the corner beside the big front window and Johnny remembered earlier years of childhood rushing home from school to watch Lassie and the Adventures of Robin Hood in the evenings.

A tall lanky figure appeared in the doorless double wide opening to the kitchen. Light streamed in from the numerous big windows in the kitchen and dining room, throwing shadows over the man's face.

"Howdy." The man walked forward and stuck out his hand, tipping back his tan cowboy hat to reveal at last a familiar face.

"Royal!" Johnny clasped his cousin's hand with both of his. "It's me!"

"Johnny? Johnny Gage!" Royal Jack Chayton pulled Johnny into a bear hug and then stepped back. "It's been years since I've seen you! You've growed up since… ain't the kid I remember." Royal Jack was Johnny's maternal cousin, his mother's sister's son. Although he was about five or six years older, the two had formed a close bond in the years after the death of Johnny's parents. "Grandma, c'mon in here and see who's here!" Royal Jack turned his head slightly towards the kitchen and hollered loudly.

An "Eh?" came from the kitchen.

"She's hard of hearin' lately." Royal Jack explained. Then he turned all the way around and repeated what he had announced in a louder voice.

"Who's here?"

"No, Grandma! Come see who's here!"

"No need to scream at me, Royal." A short form came shuffling through the doorway and stopped on the threshold. "I can't leave the kitchen, Royal. I got biscuits that'r about done."

Royal shot a look at Johnny that said 'she's still the same way', and guided his cousin towards the old lady. "Grandma, look who came by."

The old woman's cinnamon skin was deeply wrinkled, but her dark eyes still twinkled. Silvery hair was parted in the middle and and pulled expertly back into a tight bun at the base of her skull. She wore a red blouse with a black skirt and sandals, and an apron, decorated in the native style, protected her clothes from the weathers of baking, the same apron she had worn for years. The old woman stood only about five foot tall and only weighed about a hundred pounds, but she knew how to throw that hundred around mightily.

 _She must be about eighty now!_ Johnny realized with surprise. "Hey, Grandma."

Grandma tipped her head back to look at him, her bony chin sticking out stubbornly. "John? Is that you, or do my old eyes deceive me?"

"Yeah, it's me Grandma." He stooped down to wrap the old woman in a hug.

She returned the hug and then stepped back to look at him admiringly. "You look so much like your father, but skinny as a rail. What have they been feeding you down in that city?" Her hands propped on her hips indignantly.

"They've been feeding me fine, Grandma."

"Why are you here? You've been a stranger for four years. What kept you away?" She asked the question that he dreaded but knew would come sooner or later.

"I...I don't know. I'm trying to answer those questions myself."

Royal Jack shrugged and slapped Johnny on the shoulder. "C'mon cousin. How long can you stay?"

"Well, I oughta to home tonight. And I have off Sunday."

"Then come for Sunday lunch." Grandma hustled back into the kitchen to check on the biscuits. "We're having fried chicken."

Johnny grinned. "Can't say no to that, now can I?"


	5. News

The rest of the day was spent with his family on the ranch, meeting new ranch hands, greeting old ones, teasing Royal Jack's young children and meeting some of his other cousins' families who stopped by once Grandma got a chance to get on the phone and alert the relatives that the long lost lamb was back once again, even if it was for only a few hours.

When the sun set behind the mountains, casting dying sunlight onto the waving grasses, bronzing their long thin stems before it fell silently to rest and the moon took control.

It was nearly ten o'clock when Johnny decided that it was time to go. It would be nearly eleven by the time he would reach home if he went the short way. As he struggled out the door, children clinging to his long legs and screaming with laughter as they were unaware that their new-found favorite uncle was leaving, Johnny's grandfather, called Running Black Bear in his native tongue, laid a heavy hand on his grandson's shoulder.

Johnny stood eye to eye with his grandfather, watching his relative's face carefully. Running Black Bear spoke quietly and quickly in his native language, but Johnny understood. "May God go with you, and bring you back safely."

Johnny mouthed 'thank you', shook the children off his legs and scooted out the door. Once in his Land Rover, he paused as he was about to turn the key in the ignition. He looked out at the house, lit up with light and bursting with happy people, and suddenly he wanted it all back again. He wanted things the way they used to be, and wished that everybody in the world could have something like this.

 _That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna share all of this with little Ellie. I won't let those people take her from me._ He turned on the key and backed out of the driveway. Johnny had told Royal Jack of the situation and wasn't surprised when his cousin was skeptical.

As he drove off the res and into the suburban area surrounding LA, a little building caught his eye. For the second time that day he felt a strong nudge to pull over. _Well the first nudge was a good one,_ he thought as he pulled up near the curb and turned the vehicle off. The building was a small church; it was painted white with black shutters and big wooden doors.

 _I haven't been to church since I left the res._ Johnny got out and walked across the street to stop in front of the church building. _Why am I here?_ Then his inner voice said, _"Because you need to think." So? Can't I think at home? "Just go in."_ Walking up the stairs slowly, he was glad to see a sign beside the door that read 'open to public' hanging beside. Sure enough the door was unlocked.

Rows of dark wooden benches pointed stoically to the pulpit presiding at the front of the sanctuary. Moonlight illuminated the colorful stain glass window which decorated the wall behind the pulpit; Jesus Christ dying on the cross with a crown of thorns shoved low on his forehead, blood trickling down his temples, back raw and bloody from a vicious whipping.

How many times had he heard that story growing up? Now the brutality of it hit him. Maybe it was the medical understanding that was recently gained that helped him suddenly appreciate it.

The building was quiet and calm, the only sound was that of Johnny's own breathing and the frogs in the trees outside. The curved armrests of the benches were smooth and cool under his fingertips as he slid his hands over them as he walked slowly but purposefully up to the front as though drawn by an invisible force.

The image on the stained glass was captivating and he approached the front bench, Johnny stopped. Jesus' eyes stared out into space somewhere beside Johnny's head, pain filled but understanding. Tearing his gaze away from the design, Johnny looked upwards at the ceiling, imagining angels fluttering around in the rafters, maybe teasing his guardian angel about how stupid his charge was.

Johnny smiled at this thought. If there was guardian angels like Mama had always said, he sure must've given the poor angel quite a time. Slowly, he lowered himself onto the front bench, leaning forward and clasping his hands between his knees.

Johnny began to talk aloud, knowing that God was always listening. "I know it's been a long time since You've heard from me, God. I...I don't know what happened." _You're lying to yourself, and you can't lie to Him._ He paused, not having enough courage to say it out loud. BUt finally he formed the words with his lips. "I...I got mad...at You." He dropped his head to his chest, ashamed at how foolish it sounded. "You took Dad and Mama and Chad and Jessie. And then you took Ellie too and I didn't understand. I still don't understand, God! And now," Johnny's voice faltered and salty tears stung the back of his eyes. "Seems like everything I love somehow gets taken away. Like Drew," He referenced the recent death of his cop friend whose motorcycle was hit by a car on the highway. "Now there's this little baby girl, I call her Ellie. I wanna raise her up good, I know I can! But problem is, I don't really know what on earth possessed me to think such an idea, but I can't get it out of my head." Then he thought, _Maybe You put it there..._ "There's a couple who want her too, but they're after the _perfect_ baby - I've heard them talk. There's a good possibility that she'll have disabilities 'cause her mother used drugs and I don't want Ellie to get anything less than what she deserves. Those people might not treat her right if they find out that she was something. God, I guess I'm askin' that if You want me to have her, that You'll make a way. She won't hafta leave the hospital for a while yet, so You've got time." _Who am I kidding? Telling God that he has time._ "You know what I mean, Lord. If it's in Your plans to have me be Ellie's daddy," Johnny trailed off. "I'm scared to death that I'm gonna lose her, whether it be those people taking her, or maybe something will happen…" There he stopped. Adventuring into the unknown territory of 'what could happen' put a thorough scare through his bones.

Johnny stood up, feeling like the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders now that he had voiced his worries. He walked back towards the open door, back straight and spirits uplifted. When he reached the threshold, hand on the doorknob, he turned around and looked at the stained glass window and the design of Jesus' sacrifice.

"Thank you." He whispered as he pulled the door shut.

 _EMERGENCY!_

"Hello?" Johnny answered the phone in the kitchen as he dumped a can of dogfood into the food bowl for the two expectant dogs at his feet.

"Hi Johnny. It's Roy."

"Oh hey. I'm kinda in a hurry so talk fast. Going to my grandparents for lunch at one."

There was a second of silence at the other end of the phone. Then Roy spoke again, choosing his words carefully. "Last night Dixie tried to call you but you weren't home so she called me."

"What did she want?"Johnny put the bowl of food on the ground and the two dogs swarmed over it.

Another pause suggested that Roy was hesitant. "Uh, well, last night 110s brought in a young woman to Harbor General."

"Yeah, so?"

"They've confirmed that she's Ellie mother."

Johnny felt like he had been punched in the gut. "I thought that-"

"She was dead? Yeah, me too."

"Thanks for letting me know, Roy."

"Any time, Junior. Seeya tomorrow."

"Bye," Johnny hung up quickly and leaned against the counter to think. Would the state out Ellie into her mother's custody? He thought not but it was still concerning.

"Whaddya think, Sam?" Johnny asked the Australian Heeler mix. Sam looked up at his owner and cocked his head sideways. "You boys ready for an adventure? Never been on a ranch before, have you?" He opened the back door and whistled for both dogs to follow.

 _EMERGENCY!_

"Reginald and I would like you to know that other options have opened up. I'm mean of adopting a child, I mean." A well dressed woman sat primly on the edge of one of the chairs in Doctor Brackett's office.

"I see. How are you going to make a decision?" Brackett stiffened and shot a glance at the two paramedics who had also been asked to attend the meeting concerning Ellie's welfare. A resident from Harbor General was also present on behalf of Ellie's mother.

Reginald said, "We are more seriously considering this child that this meeting concerns. Has anything been found out with the arrival of her biological mother that we must know?"

Brackett glanced at the Harbor General resident. "Frank?" He opened the floor up to his fellow medical practitioner.

Frank clasped his hands in his lap. "As we thought, her mother, Julia, is addicted to barbiturates and is quite young. Problems with the baby's health later on in early childhood could result from exposure in the womb."

Johnny saw the expression on the woman's face change. He realized that her idea of a perfect child was shaken.

"W-what does that mean?"

Johnny seized the chance, hoping that the shot would even up the likelihood of him gaining custody.

Roy realized what was going through his partners mind when Johnny opened his mouth, blurting out to the horrified prospective parents, "That means mental and developmental delays and other serious health issues, mam."

Roy felt like slapping his partner across the cheek but waited until the meeting was over to confront Johnny. The couple suavely told Brackett that they were no longer interested in adopting Ellie and left with swiftness.

Once the the Harbor General resident had left as well, Kel Brackett and Roy turned on Johnny with a ferociousness that he hadn't seen since Johnny swore at Brackett over the biophone and then turned it off.

"Why the heck did you do that, Gage?!" Brackett snapped.

"Johnny, you may have just ruined that baby's chance at permanent adoption. What if the state doesn't approve you as her foster parent?"

It was with crushing blow that Johnny saw how selfish he had been. Guilt washed over him immediately, hitting him like a linebacker at full speed.

Roy saw his young partner visibly wilt but refused to comfort him. It was about time Johnny saw how his actions might impact a young life.

 _EMERGENCY!_

The next morning Roy went home to find Joanne cleaning out the attic, piles of old baby things left from the time when Jenny was a newborn took over the living room and the couch.

"Joanne?" Roy stared at the box full of toys sitting in his favorite spot on the couch. "What are you doing?"

His wife's voice came from down the hallway, where the trap door to the attic was located. "Spring cleaning."

"But it's November, hon'."

"In the spring we're always busy so I figured now is a good a time as any."

Roy knew that there was some alternative motive behind it though; if he knew his wife, a mess that she couldn't see wasn't likely to get organized. "Are you selling this stuff?"

"No, Roy."

The blonde paramedic advanced down the hallway until he saw the ladder and his wife's bottom half. She must have heard him too because one of her hands appeared, holding a flimsy box filled with clothes. "Go put this on the couch, would you?"

Roy took it and looked at the heavy ladder. "How did you get that in here?"

"Chris helped me. Go put that on the couch; I have another box for you." Joanne commanded. "But the boy clothing over near the door and the girl things on the couch. You'll see the piles."

"Ah-hah. I see what you're doing!" It registered what Joanne was up to. "Honey, I don't know if Johnny will get custody!"

"Roy," Joanne's head popped out of the attic. She looked at him sternly and spoke stiffly. "Well if Johnny scared that couple off and God forbid that they give that poor baby back to it's mother, then he's the last candidate."

"Who were you talking to?"

"It doesn't matter."

Roy grunted and turned grudgingly towards the living room to deposit the baby clothes to their respective piles. "Just don't give this stuff to him until we know for sure...if ever...he gets Ellie."

 _EMERGENCY!_

"When will she be able to go home, Dix?" Johnny sat in the nursery room, holding a sleeping Ellie securely in his arms as Roy looked on from beside the door with the HT.

"Soon. Very soon. She's a brave little girl, aren't you, Ellie?" Dixie stroked the baby's head. "Stick around a while until Kel comes, he wants to see you."

"Oh dear. What did we do this time?" Johnny joked. It had been nearly a week since the disastrous meeting with the couple searching for a perfect child.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Dix reassured.

Roy questioned, "Then why does he want to see us?"

"Oh, just because." Dixie couldn't contain her smile any longer. It crept out onto her face and radiated there. Roy caught on and laughed at Johnny's obliviousness to the situation.

It was another ten minutes until Doctor Kel Brackett arrived, a formidable expression on his face.

"Johnny, Roy." He greeted both men and then turned a pointed stare at Johnny. "I have some paperwork for you, Gage."

"Paperwork?" Johnny handed little Ellie back to Dixie and stood up, taking the manila folder Brackett was extending to him. He flipped it open and read the heading of the cover page. His knees went weak and a crooked grin of victory at last graced his face.

"I believe congratulations are in order, Gage." Brackett extended his hand towards Johnny, who shook it with gusto.

"Thank you." Relief washed over him as he looked from all the happy smiling faces around the room to the baby sleeping in the incubator. Then he stared back at the black bold letters glaring up at him. 'Foster Parent Application', it read.

"She's not your's legally yet, you're just a foster parent for now, but maybe someday you can fully adopt her." Brackett slapped Johnny on the shoulder.

Roy cut in. "Joanne has baby things for you, and I'm sure she'll be happy to babysit."

"So will I," Dixie offered.

"Thanks." Johnny still couldn't believe what was happening. _Thank you so much, Lord. For a while there I wasn't sure this would happen._ After prompt instructions from Brackett on how to properly fill out the paperwork, the doctor was paged for an incoming emergency and both he and Dixie were whisked away back into the never-ending world of emergency medicine.

Johnny flipped open the incubator and looked at the tiny baby sleeping on the tiny mattress. "I'll love you always." Johnny rubbed his thumb over Ellie's baby-soft cheek. "Always."


End file.
